"We must be willing to get rid of the life we planned, so we can have the life that's waiting for us."
I saw this on Twitter today and re-tweeted it. I didn't think much more than "Wow, how inspiring" at first glance.... but then it sank in a bit more.
Somehow we all have this big idea of what our life is supposed to look like. I am guilty of this in an extreme way. I am such a planner. I try to plan every little aspect of my life so that I am not caught off guard. I generally don't like surprises, unless it's something that fits into the box I've made for my life.
Life doesn't really fit into a box, though, does it? I mean, you can't plan the fact that you might get stopped at two extra red lights on your way to work. You can't plan that you might get in a car accident. You can't plan for a death, or to fall in love. You just can't plan everything, even though you (or I) may try. I'm still not sure how to go about changing this, but what seems like it would be logical for some reason isn't to me. It's almost a disconnect.... a control issue, I'm sure.
I feel like if I can just control all the little things in my life I can prevent them from going wrong. I know this isn't true. Bad things happen; things I will never be able to plan for. Good things happen too, though, and if I spend my time planning what I think my life should be I may just miss the good things.
Sure, I may spare myself some heartache and stress by planning ahead to prevent failure, but I'll miss the lesson along the way. How do I know what's around the corner? I don't! And if I keep trying to predict it, I may walk around the corner and stare the next big thing in my life right in the face without even realizing it.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Thursday, February 4, 2010
No one messes with my Jesus!
So tonight Zoe picked up this little card with a beautiful "castle" on it and asked who's card it was. I had totally forgotten it was sitting there.
A few days ago, some Mormon missionaries had stopped by my house to share with me a bit about their beliefs. I was polite and told them thank you for their concern, but that I simply did not agree with their beliefs. They invited me to their 20something group and wrote down their phone number on their information card and handed it to me. Rather than get into an apologetic debate with them, I thanked them for stopping by and wished them well and they were on their way.
Back to tonight..... Zoe found this card tonight and asked who's it was and what it was. I told her that missionaries had stopped by from the Mormon church. Then, of course, she asked what the Mormon church was. So I told her that they believe in God just like we do, but that they don't believe that Jesus was who we know he is. They believe that Jesus was just a prophet and that anyone can be the same as Jesus. Basically, they believe that Jesus was a god, but not the God. They also believe that anyone can become a god if they are righteous enough.
At this point, Zoe can hardly believe what she is hearing. What she did next made me want to laugh, although I knew I couldn't. She took the card, folded it up, threw it on the ground, and stomped on it, saying "No one messes with my Jesus!" How's that for apologetics!?!?
A few days ago, some Mormon missionaries had stopped by my house to share with me a bit about their beliefs. I was polite and told them thank you for their concern, but that I simply did not agree with their beliefs. They invited me to their 20something group and wrote down their phone number on their information card and handed it to me. Rather than get into an apologetic debate with them, I thanked them for stopping by and wished them well and they were on their way.
Back to tonight..... Zoe found this card tonight and asked who's it was and what it was. I told her that missionaries had stopped by from the Mormon church. Then, of course, she asked what the Mormon church was. So I told her that they believe in God just like we do, but that they don't believe that Jesus was who we know he is. They believe that Jesus was just a prophet and that anyone can be the same as Jesus. Basically, they believe that Jesus was a god, but not the God. They also believe that anyone can become a god if they are righteous enough.
At this point, Zoe can hardly believe what she is hearing. What she did next made me want to laugh, although I knew I couldn't. She took the card, folded it up, threw it on the ground, and stomped on it, saying "No one messes with my Jesus!" How's that for apologetics!?!?
No one messes with my Jesus!
So tonight Zoe picked up this little card with a beautiful "castle" on it and asked who's card it was. I had totally forgotten it was sitting there.
A few days ago, some mormon missionaries had stopped by my house to share with me a bit about thier beliefs. I was polite and told them thank you for thier concearn, but that I simply did not agree with their beliefs. They invited me to their 20something group and wrote down thier phone number on their information card and handed it to me. Rather than get into an apologetic debate with them, I thanked them for stopping by and wished them well and they were on their way.
Back to tonight..... Zoe found this card tonight and asked who's it was and what it was. I told her that missionaries had stopped by from the Mormon church. Then, of course, she asked what the mormon church was. So I told her that they believe in God just like we do, but that they don't believe that Jesus was who we know he is. They believe that Jesus was just a prophet and that anyone can be the same as Jesus. Basically, they believe that Jesus was a god, but not the God. They also believe that anyone can become a god if they are righteous enough.
At this point, Zoe can hardly believe what she is hearing. What she did next made me want to laugh, although I knew I couldn't. She took the card, folded it up, threw it on the ground, and stomped on it, saying "Noone messes with my Jesus!" How's that for apologetics!?!?
A few days ago, some mormon missionaries had stopped by my house to share with me a bit about thier beliefs. I was polite and told them thank you for thier concearn, but that I simply did not agree with their beliefs. They invited me to their 20something group and wrote down thier phone number on their information card and handed it to me. Rather than get into an apologetic debate with them, I thanked them for stopping by and wished them well and they were on their way.
Back to tonight..... Zoe found this card tonight and asked who's it was and what it was. I told her that missionaries had stopped by from the Mormon church. Then, of course, she asked what the mormon church was. So I told her that they believe in God just like we do, but that they don't believe that Jesus was who we know he is. They believe that Jesus was just a prophet and that anyone can be the same as Jesus. Basically, they believe that Jesus was a god, but not the God. They also believe that anyone can become a god if they are righteous enough.
At this point, Zoe can hardly believe what she is hearing. What she did next made me want to laugh, although I knew I couldn't. She took the card, folded it up, threw it on the ground, and stomped on it, saying "Noone messes with my Jesus!" How's that for apologetics!?!?
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Grace's Daddy
I was watching the show “Saving Grace” tonight. I actually should’t say I was watching it. It’s more like I looked at the TV for the last 30 seconds of the show. I haven’t watched this show before, but from what I understand this show is about a messed up cop who talks to some old dude she thinks is God. Maybe he is actually supposed to be God… I’m not sure.
I didn't watch the whole show, but what I did see made me think. This woman was obviously drunk. She looked like crap. She was wearing only a men’s collared shirt and was sitting next to a man who was only in his underwear. I can only assume she put his clothes on after sex. They started kissing and then violently taking off each other’s clothes. The next scene was her sleeping alone on the couch. No one else was there. The man had obviously gotten his and gone home. The “God man” walked into the scene and picked her up and carried her to bed, like a daddy would for his little girl.
Like I said before, I’m not entirely sure what this “God man’s” role is in this show, but it really did remind me of God and what He would do. God meets us where we are, even in our darkest, most shameful place, and carried us to bed so that we can rest and recover and then wake up the next day to start again.
Now, Grace had been drinking that night. She may wake up tomorrow to start a new day and still feel the hangover from drinking the night before. She may wake up with pain, both physical and emotional. She will wake up, though, and it will be a new day.
I think this is what God intends for us. I feel like waking up the next morning with our symbolic “hangover” in life is necessary. God takes our shame away. He forgives us of our past. He doesn’t tell us to forget it, though. We should remember where we came from so that we never go back again.
We are meant to carry our past with us. This doesn’t mean that God is still holding our past against us, He isn’t. There are some scars that are good scars, though. Scars are more than just a good story to tell. They remind us of what not to do, what roads not to take. We may not get all of the answers from these scars. They may not tell us where to go in life, but they will tell us where not to go.
How wonderful is it, though, that we have a Daddy who is willing to pick us up and carry us to bed every night? In one way or another, we all need Him to carry us to bed every night, so that we can rest and recover and start again tomorrow.
Just my thoughts tonight……….
I didn't watch the whole show, but what I did see made me think. This woman was obviously drunk. She looked like crap. She was wearing only a men’s collared shirt and was sitting next to a man who was only in his underwear. I can only assume she put his clothes on after sex. They started kissing and then violently taking off each other’s clothes. The next scene was her sleeping alone on the couch. No one else was there. The man had obviously gotten his and gone home. The “God man” walked into the scene and picked her up and carried her to bed, like a daddy would for his little girl.
Like I said before, I’m not entirely sure what this “God man’s” role is in this show, but it really did remind me of God and what He would do. God meets us where we are, even in our darkest, most shameful place, and carried us to bed so that we can rest and recover and then wake up the next day to start again.
Now, Grace had been drinking that night. She may wake up tomorrow to start a new day and still feel the hangover from drinking the night before. She may wake up with pain, both physical and emotional. She will wake up, though, and it will be a new day.
I think this is what God intends for us. I feel like waking up the next morning with our symbolic “hangover” in life is necessary. God takes our shame away. He forgives us of our past. He doesn’t tell us to forget it, though. We should remember where we came from so that we never go back again.
We are meant to carry our past with us. This doesn’t mean that God is still holding our past against us, He isn’t. There are some scars that are good scars, though. Scars are more than just a good story to tell. They remind us of what not to do, what roads not to take. We may not get all of the answers from these scars. They may not tell us where to go in life, but they will tell us where not to go.
How wonderful is it, though, that we have a Daddy who is willing to pick us up and carry us to bed every night? In one way or another, we all need Him to carry us to bed every night, so that we can rest and recover and start again tomorrow.
Just my thoughts tonight……….
Amen-Guy
Transferred.... from 9/10/08
OK… seriously, enough with the "Amen!" guy in the front row at church. Don't get me wrong, I love the word "amen". It's a wonderful word used for affirmation. It means "let it be". Let me say that again, it is a wonderful word…. used for affirmation. It is used to affirm. I think I've now said that enough times that we should all know what the word "amen" is for.
Now, that being said, and said, and said again, why, then does Amen-guy in the front row yell it out every 2 seconds? I mean, come on! Really? You feel you need to affirm something every 2 seconds? And I'm not exadurating, he really does say it every 2 seconds. Each time the pastor pauses, this guy's yelling out "Amen!" in his best southern Baptist voice.
If the pastor were saying "Praise God!" and Amen-guy yelled it out then, fine, I totally get that, even applaud it. But the pastor is talking about the book of Revelations, where God is talking to the church in Sardis, saying "And to the angel of the assembly in Sardis write: He who has the seven Spirits of God, and the seven stars says these things: 'I know your works, that you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead.'"
Explain to me, how it is appropriate to say "amen" at this point. I mean, really? "You're dead, AMEN!" I don't understand it. I understand affirming what the bible says, but I think there is an appropriate time to yell out your affirmation, and an appropriate time to keep quiet and try to learn.
The pastor went on to say that there are some churches today that are like the church in Sardis, they say they believe, and they look like they believe, but their faith is little. I agree with this completely. But after the pastor said this, the man again yelled "amen!" This sounds almost pompous to me! By yelling "amen" to this, are you acknowledging that yes, there are other churches that do this, but there is no lack of faith in you personally? I know I lack faith. I know most people I know lack faith. I mean, sure we have faith, we trust God, but do we really trust Him as much as we could? No.
On top of all of this, it's an obvious distraction. I was not the only person who noticed this. My parents noticed it as well, and, judging by the people with giraffe necks around me, trying to look around to see who it was, we weren't the only ones distracted by it.
So, that's my rant. Jesus loves you, "amen!" God is good, "amen!" Ending a prayer? "Amen". This church has lost it's faith, NO "amen"!
OK… seriously, enough with the "Amen!" guy in the front row at church. Don't get me wrong, I love the word "amen". It's a wonderful word used for affirmation. It means "let it be". Let me say that again, it is a wonderful word…. used for affirmation. It is used to affirm. I think I've now said that enough times that we should all know what the word "amen" is for.
Now, that being said, and said, and said again, why, then does Amen-guy in the front row yell it out every 2 seconds? I mean, come on! Really? You feel you need to affirm something every 2 seconds? And I'm not exadurating, he really does say it every 2 seconds. Each time the pastor pauses, this guy's yelling out "Amen!" in his best southern Baptist voice.
If the pastor were saying "Praise God!" and Amen-guy yelled it out then, fine, I totally get that, even applaud it. But the pastor is talking about the book of Revelations, where God is talking to the church in Sardis, saying "And to the angel of the assembly in Sardis write: He who has the seven Spirits of God, and the seven stars says these things: 'I know your works, that you have a reputation of being alive, but you are dead.'"
Explain to me, how it is appropriate to say "amen" at this point. I mean, really? "You're dead, AMEN!" I don't understand it. I understand affirming what the bible says, but I think there is an appropriate time to yell out your affirmation, and an appropriate time to keep quiet and try to learn.
The pastor went on to say that there are some churches today that are like the church in Sardis, they say they believe, and they look like they believe, but their faith is little. I agree with this completely. But after the pastor said this, the man again yelled "amen!" This sounds almost pompous to me! By yelling "amen" to this, are you acknowledging that yes, there are other churches that do this, but there is no lack of faith in you personally? I know I lack faith. I know most people I know lack faith. I mean, sure we have faith, we trust God, but do we really trust Him as much as we could? No.
On top of all of this, it's an obvious distraction. I was not the only person who noticed this. My parents noticed it as well, and, judging by the people with giraffe necks around me, trying to look around to see who it was, we weren't the only ones distracted by it.
So, that's my rant. Jesus loves you, "amen!" God is good, "amen!" Ending a prayer? "Amen". This church has lost it's faith, NO "amen"!
Don't Let Your Wolves Consume You
Transferred.... from 11/11/07
You'll have to deal with the randomness of the way my brain works for this one. I was in church recently and the pastor was talking about sheep and how they need a shepherd to keep them safe. Somehow I went from this to wolves, to a wolf chasing the shepherd, to a wolf gnawing on the shepherd's ankle, to a pack of wolves attacking the shepherd. I promise this is not a blog about some gruesome death.
But it did get me thinking. While I was thinking about the one wolf gnawing on the shepherd's leg, for some reason a couple of verses in Matthew came to mind. These verses say "If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to e thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." (Matthew 5:29,30)
So if you are not following my random thought process here, the single wolf is my sin. If I have this sin gnawing at my ankle, I have two choices.
The first is that I can choose to keep fighting the wolf. I can choose to kick and scream and rely on myself and my strength to fight the wolf, little at a time. The problem is that wolves travel in packs. The wolf is sure to have friends. Other friends who will come and feed on me. They will keep eating at me until they have consumed me.
Sin works this way. Many of us think that we can do this on our own. If we can just fight hard enough, it won't be a problem. If we can just be stronger than the wolf in our life, we can fix all of our problems single handedly. But one sin often leads to another. Drunkenness leads to lust. Greed leads to idolatry. Hearsay leads to bitterness, which leads to contempt, or fury. You may start with only one wolf, but his friends are not far behind him, waiting to consume you.
You do have a second choice, though. You can choose to cut off your ankle and run for safety. You can always run home. It may seem too painful to bear, but cutting off you ankle is better than loosing your life to your wolf.
Sometimes it seems so hard to cut our sin out of our lives because it is all we know. We feel like there is no other way to live, or like we wouldn't know how to live without our sin. Or some of us, I'll admit I'm one of them, don't want to admit we have the sin, or don't want others to see the changes we make and realize just how bad off we were.
As scary is all of that is, the wolfs that will consume your future is much scarier. If we can just make a clean break, we can break free of our sin and run towards God's light. It may be painful at first, but in the end, it is worth it. My eternity is worth it. Ephesians 4:22-24 says "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
It's funny how the bible repeats things. I think its God's way of telling us "Hey! Look at this! It's important!" It has been a while now for me since I decided to cut my ankle off and run for home. It was awkward at first, even lonely. But it is the best decision I have ever made. If you are feeling consumed by the wolves in your life, I urge you to cut your losses. Don't just keep with the status quo because it is all you know. Cut the sin that binds you out of your life.
You'll have to deal with the randomness of the way my brain works for this one. I was in church recently and the pastor was talking about sheep and how they need a shepherd to keep them safe. Somehow I went from this to wolves, to a wolf chasing the shepherd, to a wolf gnawing on the shepherd's ankle, to a pack of wolves attacking the shepherd. I promise this is not a blog about some gruesome death.
But it did get me thinking. While I was thinking about the one wolf gnawing on the shepherd's leg, for some reason a couple of verses in Matthew came to mind. These verses say "If your right eye causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to e thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." (Matthew 5:29,30)
So if you are not following my random thought process here, the single wolf is my sin. If I have this sin gnawing at my ankle, I have two choices.
The first is that I can choose to keep fighting the wolf. I can choose to kick and scream and rely on myself and my strength to fight the wolf, little at a time. The problem is that wolves travel in packs. The wolf is sure to have friends. Other friends who will come and feed on me. They will keep eating at me until they have consumed me.
Sin works this way. Many of us think that we can do this on our own. If we can just fight hard enough, it won't be a problem. If we can just be stronger than the wolf in our life, we can fix all of our problems single handedly. But one sin often leads to another. Drunkenness leads to lust. Greed leads to idolatry. Hearsay leads to bitterness, which leads to contempt, or fury. You may start with only one wolf, but his friends are not far behind him, waiting to consume you.
You do have a second choice, though. You can choose to cut off your ankle and run for safety. You can always run home. It may seem too painful to bear, but cutting off you ankle is better than loosing your life to your wolf.
Sometimes it seems so hard to cut our sin out of our lives because it is all we know. We feel like there is no other way to live, or like we wouldn't know how to live without our sin. Or some of us, I'll admit I'm one of them, don't want to admit we have the sin, or don't want others to see the changes we make and realize just how bad off we were.
As scary is all of that is, the wolfs that will consume your future is much scarier. If we can just make a clean break, we can break free of our sin and run towards God's light. It may be painful at first, but in the end, it is worth it. My eternity is worth it. Ephesians 4:22-24 says "You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
It's funny how the bible repeats things. I think its God's way of telling us "Hey! Look at this! It's important!" It has been a while now for me since I decided to cut my ankle off and run for home. It was awkward at first, even lonely. But it is the best decision I have ever made. If you are feeling consumed by the wolves in your life, I urge you to cut your losses. Don't just keep with the status quo because it is all you know. Cut the sin that binds you out of your life.
God's Halloween Lesson
Transferred..... from 11/1/07
I realized last night while trick or treating how incredibly blessed children are with the knowledge of God. I was amazed at my daughter's knowledge of God and how to be like him. I want to be like God, just like many of you do, but she truly understands it much more than I do.
We were going from house to house on one side of the street trick or treating. I was paying attention to the "please"s and "thank you"s. She was paying attention to the candy.
When we were about half done with trick or treating a group of about ten kids came to a door at the same time as us. They were all together, so we let them go first. Then they ran to the house across the street and we went to the house next door. By the time we got to the door and rang the doorbell the kids from the first house were back to our side of the street and pushing their way in front of my daughter.
This happened about 3 more times before she started to get annoyed. Finally after one of the houses, she says to me "Mommy, those kids aren't very nice!"
I said to her, "I know, but we will just let them go first. They must be in a hurry. It doesn't matter if we are first or last, the people in the house will have enough candy for all of you."
Then the conversation switches from me teaching my daughter a lesson on patience to her teaching me a lesson on life. She says to me "I know mom. They aren't being nice, but I love them anyway because God tells us to love everyone." I am shocked by this statement. Instead of getting upset about not being first in line, my 4 year old decided to love complete strangers who had not shown traits that were deserving of her love. She even suggested that she go give them a hug and tell them that she loves them, but I told her that wasn't necessary.
This was enough of a lesson to me. But it didn't end there. She goes on to say "Mom, they should love God and not their candy. They are only doing that because they love their candy more than they love God. They are acting like those people who loved the gold cow."
Wow. She's 4. Have you ever heard the song "Jesus Loves the Little Children"? I think the name should be changed to "Jesus Speaks Through the Little Children". Whoever said that God blesses us through our children was right. This is a lesson I think a lot of us need to learn. I am so inspired by her and her blunt honesty and love for her creator and savior. All I can say is wow. How lucky am I to have a child so dedicated to God?
I realized last night while trick or treating how incredibly blessed children are with the knowledge of God. I was amazed at my daughter's knowledge of God and how to be like him. I want to be like God, just like many of you do, but she truly understands it much more than I do.
We were going from house to house on one side of the street trick or treating. I was paying attention to the "please"s and "thank you"s. She was paying attention to the candy.
When we were about half done with trick or treating a group of about ten kids came to a door at the same time as us. They were all together, so we let them go first. Then they ran to the house across the street and we went to the house next door. By the time we got to the door and rang the doorbell the kids from the first house were back to our side of the street and pushing their way in front of my daughter.
This happened about 3 more times before she started to get annoyed. Finally after one of the houses, she says to me "Mommy, those kids aren't very nice!"
I said to her, "I know, but we will just let them go first. They must be in a hurry. It doesn't matter if we are first or last, the people in the house will have enough candy for all of you."
Then the conversation switches from me teaching my daughter a lesson on patience to her teaching me a lesson on life. She says to me "I know mom. They aren't being nice, but I love them anyway because God tells us to love everyone." I am shocked by this statement. Instead of getting upset about not being first in line, my 4 year old decided to love complete strangers who had not shown traits that were deserving of her love. She even suggested that she go give them a hug and tell them that she loves them, but I told her that wasn't necessary.
This was enough of a lesson to me. But it didn't end there. She goes on to say "Mom, they should love God and not their candy. They are only doing that because they love their candy more than they love God. They are acting like those people who loved the gold cow."
Wow. She's 4. Have you ever heard the song "Jesus Loves the Little Children"? I think the name should be changed to "Jesus Speaks Through the Little Children". Whoever said that God blesses us through our children was right. This is a lesson I think a lot of us need to learn. I am so inspired by her and her blunt honesty and love for her creator and savior. All I can say is wow. How lucky am I to have a child so dedicated to God?
What's Taking So Long?
Transferred.... from 10/25/07
I'm so frustrated! I'm so ready to move on…. But this whole divorce thing still isn't final. I know I have dated before, even though I wasn't divorced yet. But things have changed… I have changed. And I made the decision a while ago not to date until everything was final.
So now I'm just waiting. I'm not sure why I'm waiting, but I'm waiting. Waiting for things to be over… it's been so long since we have been together, since we have lived as husband and wife. He has moved on and started another family. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ready to start another family… in fact, I'm far from that.
But I am finally in a place where I know who I am, I have been by myself for long enough to know what my standards are, what I am looking for, and what I am not looking for. I am ready to date again. I want to date again. I am not looking for some serious relationship leading straight to marriage from the get go, but I am totally ready to get back out there… and now I can't. And who knows when I can! Ugh! Ever get frustrated like this? When will it all be over?
I know that God has someone in mind for me and I feel like I'm wasting my time being married to someone who is not right for me.
I'm so frustrated! I'm so ready to move on…. But this whole divorce thing still isn't final. I know I have dated before, even though I wasn't divorced yet. But things have changed… I have changed. And I made the decision a while ago not to date until everything was final.
So now I'm just waiting. I'm not sure why I'm waiting, but I'm waiting. Waiting for things to be over… it's been so long since we have been together, since we have lived as husband and wife. He has moved on and started another family. Don't get me wrong, I'm not ready to start another family… in fact, I'm far from that.
But I am finally in a place where I know who I am, I have been by myself for long enough to know what my standards are, what I am looking for, and what I am not looking for. I am ready to date again. I want to date again. I am not looking for some serious relationship leading straight to marriage from the get go, but I am totally ready to get back out there… and now I can't. And who knows when I can! Ugh! Ever get frustrated like this? When will it all be over?
I know that God has someone in mind for me and I feel like I'm wasting my time being married to someone who is not right for me.
God's Time
Transferred..... from 9/29/07
So some of you know I have been questioning a lot about my life lately. Not about who I am. Just about where I am going. What I am doing. And I am, so far, not getting any answers.
I know that God will provide me with the answers I seek, but I just don't know how to tell when it is him. Call it a lack of faith, or my own weakness, or whatever you want, but I just can't figure out if he is giving me an answer or not.
I have read every bible verse I can find on the subject. I have talked to friends who I know can give me Godly advice. But all I keep finding is the same thing: "He will show you the way." "He will guide you on your path." "Walk with Him and all will be good."
I know all of this. And I do have faith. I know he will guide my path. I know he will give me the answers I desire. But how do I know when it is Him? How do I know that it is Him speaking to me, and not just my own thoughts? And if I do know it is Him, how do I know if this is what he wants for me permanently or temporarily?
I guess my issue is that I really feel like I am where I am supposed to be in life. But does that mean that this is what I am supposed to do with my life? Or does that mean that I am doing a good job in the situation I am in at this point in my life? How do I tell the difference?
I feel like I am going insane. I don't know where to go for answers. I have gone to His word. Maybe He just isn't ready for me to have the answer yet. But what if the answer effects other major decisions in my life?
I want to be patient, but there are things I need to take care of. I know my time ultimately does not matter. His does. He will answer me in His time. I just wish I understood. To understand the one thing I can never fully understand… go figure.
So some of you know I have been questioning a lot about my life lately. Not about who I am. Just about where I am going. What I am doing. And I am, so far, not getting any answers.
I know that God will provide me with the answers I seek, but I just don't know how to tell when it is him. Call it a lack of faith, or my own weakness, or whatever you want, but I just can't figure out if he is giving me an answer or not.
I have read every bible verse I can find on the subject. I have talked to friends who I know can give me Godly advice. But all I keep finding is the same thing: "He will show you the way." "He will guide you on your path." "Walk with Him and all will be good."
I know all of this. And I do have faith. I know he will guide my path. I know he will give me the answers I desire. But how do I know when it is Him? How do I know that it is Him speaking to me, and not just my own thoughts? And if I do know it is Him, how do I know if this is what he wants for me permanently or temporarily?
I guess my issue is that I really feel like I am where I am supposed to be in life. But does that mean that this is what I am supposed to do with my life? Or does that mean that I am doing a good job in the situation I am in at this point in my life? How do I tell the difference?
I feel like I am going insane. I don't know where to go for answers. I have gone to His word. Maybe He just isn't ready for me to have the answer yet. But what if the answer effects other major decisions in my life?
I want to be patient, but there are things I need to take care of. I know my time ultimately does not matter. His does. He will answer me in His time. I just wish I understood. To understand the one thing I can never fully understand… go figure.
The Hatred of a Mother
Transfered.... from 9/6/07
Today I went to Wal-Mart. I was excited to see the very first spot open, so I quickly turned my car into the spot. I was on the phone with my good friend Linda. So I planned to talk to her for another minute or so and then hang up and go inside to do my shopping.
That's what I planned on.
As I pulled into the spot, I saw a woman getting her children out of the car in the spot in front of me. She started screaming cuss words into the car!
I thought to myself "surely, there is an adult in the car she is screaming at, but I can't believe she would use that word in front of her child!"
As I am on the phone with my friend, trying to mind my own business, I can't help but notice what is going on in front of me.
Not only is this woman screaming into the car, now she has the whole upper half of her body inside the car. For a moment, this is slightly comical. To see the large blue bulge sticking out of the car, moving back and forth as she screams obscenities.
To my surprise and dismay, I soon realized she was not talking to an adult at all.
She starts to quickly back her upper half out of the car. First her stomach, then her left shoulder and arm, then her head, and her right shoulder. Then she moves a bit quicker, and yanks her right arm out of the car. But wait… she has something in her hand.
It's a small child. she yanks the child out of the car by only his arm, shaking him as she screams. Then she bangs him up against the car, his feet lifted completely off the ground, his arm up in the air, connected to hers.
After throwing him against the car, she drops him. He hits the ground, crying. She cusses some more and tells him that that will teach him to get out of the car next time, then gives me a dirty look and walks into the store with her three children.
First of all, what am I supposed to do here? I couldn't talk to the woman…I feared for my own safety! So I called the police. They said they would send someone out. Who knows if they did.
How are people like this allowed to have children? You should have to take a psych evaluation before you are allowed to take your children home from the hospital.
How could you possible treat a child like this? I just don't understand. I look into the eyes of my beautiful little girl and I can't imagine cussing at her, or hitting her. I don't understand how people can do this! It's like my mind doesn't comprehend the concept.
How could you look at that beautiful little boy and think anything but happy thoughts? How do you get to the point of throwing your child up against a car?
And we wonder why there's so much disrespect for the family, so much crime, so many people with so much hatred in their hearts. It's because hate is all they have ever known.
Where you and I knew love, they knew hate. This is how they know how to show their emotions. To this little boy, this is his reality. Emotions are not shown with hugs and kisses. They are shown with hits and kicks.
Today I went to Wal-Mart. I was excited to see the very first spot open, so I quickly turned my car into the spot. I was on the phone with my good friend Linda. So I planned to talk to her for another minute or so and then hang up and go inside to do my shopping.
That's what I planned on.
As I pulled into the spot, I saw a woman getting her children out of the car in the spot in front of me. She started screaming cuss words into the car!
I thought to myself "surely, there is an adult in the car she is screaming at, but I can't believe she would use that word in front of her child!"
As I am on the phone with my friend, trying to mind my own business, I can't help but notice what is going on in front of me.
Not only is this woman screaming into the car, now she has the whole upper half of her body inside the car. For a moment, this is slightly comical. To see the large blue bulge sticking out of the car, moving back and forth as she screams obscenities.
To my surprise and dismay, I soon realized she was not talking to an adult at all.
She starts to quickly back her upper half out of the car. First her stomach, then her left shoulder and arm, then her head, and her right shoulder. Then she moves a bit quicker, and yanks her right arm out of the car. But wait… she has something in her hand.
It's a small child. she yanks the child out of the car by only his arm, shaking him as she screams. Then she bangs him up against the car, his feet lifted completely off the ground, his arm up in the air, connected to hers.
After throwing him against the car, she drops him. He hits the ground, crying. She cusses some more and tells him that that will teach him to get out of the car next time, then gives me a dirty look and walks into the store with her three children.
First of all, what am I supposed to do here? I couldn't talk to the woman…I feared for my own safety! So I called the police. They said they would send someone out. Who knows if they did.
How are people like this allowed to have children? You should have to take a psych evaluation before you are allowed to take your children home from the hospital.
How could you possible treat a child like this? I just don't understand. I look into the eyes of my beautiful little girl and I can't imagine cussing at her, or hitting her. I don't understand how people can do this! It's like my mind doesn't comprehend the concept.
How could you look at that beautiful little boy and think anything but happy thoughts? How do you get to the point of throwing your child up against a car?
And we wonder why there's so much disrespect for the family, so much crime, so many people with so much hatred in their hearts. It's because hate is all they have ever known.
Where you and I knew love, they knew hate. This is how they know how to show their emotions. To this little boy, this is his reality. Emotions are not shown with hugs and kisses. They are shown with hits and kicks.
narcissistic society
Transfered... from 8/21/07
narcissistic society
I was talking to a friend recently while watching my daughter play. She was noticing how active my daughter was and asked me what kind of activities I was going to get her into. When I told her that I didn't know, considering that my daughter is only 3, she was shocked!
She then proceeded to tell me exactly what activities her future children would be involved in. Keep in mind, this friend of mine is not married, pregnant, or will be either in the foreseeable future.
One of the activities her children were going to be involved in was water polo. She was involved in it as a teenager and said that her kids would be to. When she said this, it sparked my attention. Why decide that now? And do the children have a choice in this matter?
So I asked her… "What if your child develops a fear of water?"
To this she replied "Oh that's what therapy is for"
This got me thinking even more. She is actually going to send her child to therapy so that her child can follow her dreams! Am I the only one who finds this a bit strange?
What troubles me more is that, although a bit on the extreme side, this is not an unusual mindset. It is one thing to want your child to grow up with your values and set of beliefs. It is completely another to want them to grow up to be you.
Many parents want their children to grow up in their image. Does this sound familiar? To form someone in your own image? It sounds a bit like something I've heard…. Where was that? Oh yeah…. In church! Hmmm… Play God lately, anyone?
Should we really be doing this? Or should we encourage our children to follow their own dreams? To make their own paths in life. We tell them not to follow the crowd, not to do things just because others are doing them, but then we turn around and do this. "Oh honey, don't follow the crowd, just be the complete mirror image of me!"
Wow… what a narcissistic society we live in, isn't it?
narcissistic society
I was talking to a friend recently while watching my daughter play. She was noticing how active my daughter was and asked me what kind of activities I was going to get her into. When I told her that I didn't know, considering that my daughter is only 3, she was shocked!
She then proceeded to tell me exactly what activities her future children would be involved in. Keep in mind, this friend of mine is not married, pregnant, or will be either in the foreseeable future.
One of the activities her children were going to be involved in was water polo. She was involved in it as a teenager and said that her kids would be to. When she said this, it sparked my attention. Why decide that now? And do the children have a choice in this matter?
So I asked her… "What if your child develops a fear of water?"
To this she replied "Oh that's what therapy is for"
This got me thinking even more. She is actually going to send her child to therapy so that her child can follow her dreams! Am I the only one who finds this a bit strange?
What troubles me more is that, although a bit on the extreme side, this is not an unusual mindset. It is one thing to want your child to grow up with your values and set of beliefs. It is completely another to want them to grow up to be you.
Many parents want their children to grow up in their image. Does this sound familiar? To form someone in your own image? It sounds a bit like something I've heard…. Where was that? Oh yeah…. In church! Hmmm… Play God lately, anyone?
Should we really be doing this? Or should we encourage our children to follow their own dreams? To make their own paths in life. We tell them not to follow the crowd, not to do things just because others are doing them, but then we turn around and do this. "Oh honey, don't follow the crowd, just be the complete mirror image of me!"
Wow… what a narcissistic society we live in, isn't it?
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